Cullen Road Trip: Across America
by wishiwasedwards
Summary: The Cullen's take the 50 states! Alot of crazyness. Read and Review!
1. Introduction

My classmates watched the clock with rapt attention.

I fidgeted in my seat. Edward looked over at me. "Relax, Bella, we're almost out of here for the summer."

The clock continued to tick.

Five. Four.

Edward still refused to tell me where his family was going for the summer. All I knew was that I was going, and Charlie approved.

Three. Two.

I bet we're going to Denali, I mused. They're tight with the Cullens.

One.

A whole summer with Edward. Wow.

The bell rang. Cheers erupted in the hallways. The loudest by far was a familiar boom.

"SUMMER! SUMMER! SUMMER!" Emmett chanted. I could hear him all the way down the hallway. As Edward and I joined the stampede out of the school, I saw him sprinting through the hallways. I laughed. Emmett was one of a kind.

We continued out the door, Edward protectively making sure I didn't fall and get crushed. With my luck, that would probably happen. Alice and Jasper joined us outside of the Vovlo. Jasper looked as if he was about to explode. The emotions radiating off these kids must have been driving him insane. The four of us hopped in the car in time to see Emmett and Rosalie screech out of the lot in Emmett's Jeep. I could still hear him yelling.

We were about halfway to the Cullen house when I realized that Edward hadn't dropped me off. "Uh, Edward? Are you planning on taking me home?"

He grinned. "Nope. We're leaving as soon as we get the cars ready!"

"Don't worry Bella, I already packed your things!" Alice yelled.

"Are you planning on telling me where we're going?" I turned and looked into each of their faces. Even Jasper was excited.

"ROAD TRIP!!!!!" They screamed.

Oh sweet Lord.


	2. Oregon

_"ROAD TRIP!!!!" They screamed._

_Oh sweet Lord._

So here I was, in the THING, as I called it. The Cullens, being the Cullens, had insisted on taking a giant bus across the country for the summer. The fridge was stocked with a few bags of bear blood and tons of random human food. There was one bed, a bunkbed, one bathroom, and three TVs. And there was absolutely no privacy. We had been on the bus for about three hours, headed to Oregon.

"TURN THAT DOWN!" Rosalie screamed, as the video game the boys were playing reached new volume levels.

"Rose, you're being louder than the game," Emmett muttered.

She glared at him. "Carlisle, tell me again why we couldn't get a freaking SOUNDPROOF wall for the video game area!"

Carlisle laughed from the driver's seat. Esme turned around to lay down the motherly law. "Boys, turn it down. Rosalie, darling, just relax with Alice and Bella." Alice and I giggled from the top bunk.

"Since when am I the good influence?" Alice whispered in my ear.

I laughed quietly. "Maybe since I became a raging caffeine monster. Damn that game of truth or dare." Chugging four energy drinks. My hyperness had affected Alice as well, and the whole family wanted to chuck us in the loony bin. Even Jasper couldn't calm us down.

"ATTENTION TEENAGE VAMPIRE MEN." Alice yelled.

Edward, Emmett, and Jasper twisted around and looked at us with annoyed expressions. "What?" Emmett sighed.

"TRUTH OR DARE?" I sang.

Edward gave me a gorgeous smile. "Dare."

I bit my lip and grinned. Alice saw my decision and started hysterically laughing. "I DARE YOU TO THROW THE XBOX OUT THE WINDOW!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jasper screamed. "DO NOT TRAP ME IN THIS ESTROGEN FILLED BUS WITHOUT ENTERTAINMENT!"

Emmett was hyperventilating. "NononononononoBellayouwouldn'tdothattomeAlicedon'tmakeme-"

Edward's approach was simple. "Bella, love," he said in his beautiful voice. All he had to do was look at me. Stupid dazzling vampire boyfriend.

"I guess I could let it slide." I smiled.

"CARLISLE! WHERE ARE WE GOING?" Emmett roared. "I NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THESE EVIL WOMEN WE CALL OUR WIVES!"

Carlisle chuckled. "We, children, Esme, are going to see the Grant's Pass Caveman." He twisted around and looked at us. I suppose he wanted a better reaction than six vampires and a human looking at him with shocked, open mouthed faces.

"What?" Esme hissed. "You said it would be somewhere relaxing."

Alice, Edward, and Jasper were whispering rapidly in the back of the bus. No doubt planning a revenge plan. Alice looked up and grinned. "Its time," she mouthed.

As if on cue, Carlisle spoke up. "Come on, kids. Get excited!"

Oh, I understand now.

I felt the excitement flowing through the bus and it started to rock as we all began jumping up and down in delight. Emmett, ever one for chants, started screaming, "CAVEMAN! CAVEMAN!" Even Rosalie was screaming. Edward and Jasper were doubled over laughing and I saw them bump fists.

"JASPER!" Carlisle screeched, well, excitedly. "IF I DON'T FEEL HAPPY AND PEACEFUL IN THREE SECONDS I AM LETTING ALICE REDO YOUR OFFICE WHEN WE GET HOME!" I immediately stopped jumping. I felt and saw grins stretching across everyone's faces. Carlisle relaxed and kept driving. "Thanks, son."

"Seriously, Carlisle," Edward asked. "When are we going to be there?"

"We are."

The family ran outside, eager for a chance to escape each other.

"What." Rosalie.

"The." Jasper.

"Hell." Emmett.

"Is." Alice.

"That." Edward.

"Thing." Me.

A giant caveman perched in front of us. He stood tall, brown, and with a club. We stared in shocked disbelief. Carlisle looked at us nervously.

Everyone under the human age of twenty busted out laughing.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle," I giggled, "its just so bad its funny."

Emmett was on the ground, rolling in laughter. Alice and Rosalie were holding each other to stand up. Jasper was laughing, but he looked like he was going to freak out from all the emotion. Even reserved Edward was doubled over.

"Kids," Esme said. We all immediately silenced and looked at her. "Go pose with the Caveman." Our mouths dropped open again. "Now."

She whipped out a camera as we disbelievingly posed around the monstrosity. "Jasper," she said warmly, but it was clear it was a warning. At once we all became happy and huge grins cracked our faces. The camera flashed. "That's a beauty," Esme beamed.

"Can we please please please please head to California now Carlisle!" Alice asked.

Carlisle sighed. "Already?" Six eager faces nodded. "Get in the bus." Edward scooped me up and we were all back inside in a flash.

"So where are we going?" Rosalie cautiously asked.

Carlisle and Esme spoke in unison. "Hollywood."

Alice screamed in excitement.

**Hope you liked the latest chapter!**

**If you have a cool attraction in your town or state let me know and I'll feature it. Thanks so much for reading.**


	3. Calfornia Part One: San Diego

**Hi everyone! Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it.**

**Just a note: The Cullen's will be taking a pretty strange route, but they have to hit all 50 states and it's a story. I'm also really not good with directions and such so driving times and all that jazz won't be accurate.**

**If you have a fun attraction in your state, let me know and I'll feature it!**

"Californiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, Californiaaaaaaaaaaaa, here we comeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Alice sang.

"Jasper," Emmett said through clenched teeth, "control your damn wife." I could definitely understand his anger. Alice's little song had been going for three hours. Jasper looked at Alice and then she stopped singing and lay back on the couch.

It was about midnight. I was dozing off on Edward's shoulder. "Bella," he said softly, "you need to go to sleep."

I rolled my eyes sleepily and shot him an annoyed glance. "I'm not tired." He sighed. "Edward, I swear. I'm not-" YAWN "tired."

"Okay, love, you've convinced me. You are wide awake." He laughed. "Now come on, go get ready for bed. I have a surprise for you tomorrow, and I don't want you falling asleep during it."

I froze. "You didn't get me something, did you?" I asked warily. Edward had a tendency to go overboard if I couldn't rein him in.

"No. But it's a good surprise." I shut the bathroom door and quickly got ready for bed.

"Goodnight, Carlisle, Esme." They smiled back at me.

"Goodnight to you too, Bella. There's a soundproof divider by that bed so you can go to sleep." Esme said kindly. "We had that installed for nights we drive through. Tomorrow we'll be in a hotel, don't worry." Oh, Esme. How I love you.

"Night guys," I called to Emmett, Rosalie, Jazz, and Alice.

"Goodnight, Bella," Emmett laughed. "Don't let the bed-vampire's bite." They all cracked up.

"Hilarious, Emmett." Edward said. He slid into bed next to me and pulled down the divider. The XBOX, laughter, and chatter on the other side disappeared.

I woke up around seven the next day. We were right outside San Diego. I quickly dressed and joined my family around the couch.

Rosalie was beaming. I'd never seen her so happy. "Carlisle said we'll be in Hollywood by the end of the day."

"Bloody hell!" Our heads snapped to the driver's seat. Carlisle, swearing? "Sodding, stupid car!" We rolled to a stop.

"Carlisle's accent gets way stronger when he's pissed," Emmett revealed. All the Cullen "kids" were laughing. "I'm glad you got to see that, it's really rare but completely hilarious."

"ROSALIE! GO LOOK AT THE BLOODY BUSES ENGINE!" Rosalie composed herself and darted outside. She returned within a minute, swearing like a sailor.

"I don't know what's up with this stupid thing!" Rosalie, our resident car expert, screamed. "I wanna go to Hollywood!"

"IT'S BROKEN?" Alice shrieked.

Emmett and Jasper were about to lose it. "SHUT UP!" Emmett roared. He glared at Jasper. "STOP CALMING ME DOWN!"

If you have never seen six vampires throwing temper tantrums, let me assure you that it is slightly scary, and totally hilarious.

Oh God. Esme looked about ready to blow. Rosalie was screaming at Edward. Alice was hysterical.

Esme looked at me. "Bella, PLEASE do something," she pleaded. I nodded. Time to play on their weaknesses.

I gathered up the Xbox, Alice's wallet, Jasper's Confederate bandana thing, Rosalie's earplugs, and Carlisle's stethoscope. I threw open the door. The sounds of the rushing highway filled the suddenly silent bus.

Edward, the overprotective, loving man I know he is, slammed the door shut and pulled me away before I could blink. "What were you thinking?" He was freaking out. I reluctantly pulled out of his strong arms.

"Everyone will calm down, or I am taking all of these items out to the highway," I threatened. Alice moved to retrieve her wallet, and Edward stepped in front of me.

"Don't touch her," Edward hissed. I saw Esme give me a thumbs up. It really was the perfect plan. They would all want their stuff back, but they couldn't get it from me because Edward wouldn't let them attack me for them. Edward would freak out if I went near the highway, so he would behave.

Ah, sweet success.

"Carlisle, there are a few things we can do in San Diego until the bus is fixed," I called sweetly.

"Like what, dear?" He asked cautiously.

Hmm. Luckily, it was cloudy, so we could go just about anywhere. There's Lego land. No, imagine what Emmett could start there. No malls, we'll never get Alice or Rose out. There's the San Diego Zoo. Could they handle that? It would be like a buffet, but it would also be really fun.

"The San Diego Zoo!" I announced.

Rosalie let out a squeal of excitement. "CAN WE SEE THE PANDA?"

"Uhh, yeah?"

"YAY!" She hopped around the bus before giving me a huge hug. "Panda, panda, panda!" she chanted.

"Now I know where Emmett picked it up," I giggled. Rosalie, a panda freak? That was unexpected, to say the least.

With a plan in action, the Cullens moved quickly. Carlisle called three cabs, Edward called a tow truck, and Esme packed me some snacks in a lunchbox. I would have done it myself, but she seemed fascinated by the human food.

Three yellow taxis came screeching to a halt outside of our bus, followed by a tow truck. "That was good timing," I observed.

"Carlisle is intimidating when he's angry," Edward said with a grin.

*****

Twenty minutes later we pulled up to the San Diego Zoo. Edward had to practically carry me up to the entrance in order to keep up with the rest of the family.

Rosalie was bouncing on her feet in an eerie imitation of Alice. "Pandapandapandapandapandapanda," she chanted quietly.

Esme quickly paid for eight tickets and we took off into the zoo.

After twelve hours, three panda stuffed animals, a meal with seven vampires watching curiously, two attempts by Emmett to wrestle the bears, three separate occasions of prying Alice out of the gift shop and Jasper having a mental breakdown, our bus was delivered to the zoo.

I stumbled onto the bus and into the bed, exhausted. My stomach grumbled, and Alice threw me a Twinkie. I devoured it. "Ew, Alice, these things are gross," I said through a mouthful.

"I didn't think that would stop you from eating it," she called from Jasper's lap. He rolled his eyes behind her shoulder.

Edward practically shoved me into bed, and I woke up the next morning to excited chatter.

**(A/N: I don't want this chapter to be unbearably long, so I will post "Deleted Scenes" of the Zoo in a separate story soon. California Part Two- Hollywood, will be up soon! Thanks for waiting! I will update Steady Sun soon for anyone concerned. Reviews please!)**

*****


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